Operation Briffa Royal Christmas Tree

It was a chance meeting with the famous #justsayhello founder and raconteur Duncan Raban where we were tipped off about the best place to get our tree this year.

It seems no-one in Great Britain has escaped the ramifications of Brexit, not even Her Majesty who had just launched a business selling home grown Elizabethan Pine Christmas trees. Duncan was clear that there were risks involved in seeking out a Royal tree but if we were up for the challenge it would be worth it.

Her Majesty’s arboreal monetisation idea had not started well. The launch was poorly advertised. The sign posting around the Palace poor. The top marketing agency engaged to create her website had not completed it in time. She was rumoured to be in dispute with the developers. To top it all the investors in this crowd funded start up who were hoping for a quick return on their money were not happy. They had been badly let down. It was then that the mood at our pub meeting changed. Was a Royal tree not really a people’s tree that we own in any event? Was it not time for the Royal household to give something back. Should not the operation be more accurately billed as ‘Operation Tree Recovery’. But how to pull off this plot? If Her Majesty was a typical British worker she would be taking a tea break on the hour every hour and with the trees left unattended therefore for half an hour every hour we would have time to strike. The biggest challenge would be cutting down our own tree with a huge bow saw quickly and in full view of the palace windows, teams of tourists, soldiers and police. Somehow without much planning let alone the meticulous planning usual to ensure success of the most audacious heists we pulled it off. Our Royal tree is now up and giving joy to us and all visitors to the office. Unfortunately we have heard the Queen is considering closing the business saying that once you consider vat and tax, minimum wages for helpers who are not  part of the gig economy but constantly on tea breaks, and the vast amount of paperwork that goes with running a business it just doesn’t add up. Asked if the fact there had been reports of trees being stolen had forced the decision the Queen said ‘Certainly not: those reports are totally false’.

All in all our most magnificent and exhilarating mission to date. Thank you to Duncan Raban and Clare Herriot who support us in all our adventures and have made the world of corporate video so much fun.

Happy Christmas everyone!